Driving While Yakking (DWY) – Banning Cell Phones While Driving Is Only a Start!
Posted: Thursday, September 21, 2006
by Danny Davids
The issue of people using cell phones while driving is taking center stage again. California has become the fourth state to limit the use of cellular phones in automobiles ( New York , Connecticut , and New Jersey , as well as the District of Columbia , beat them to it). Why? Certain studies indicate that using a cell phone while driving, whether held in the hand or using a hands-free device, greatly increases the chances of one being involved in an accident. New York wants to see driving while yakking, or DWY as it’s colloquially referred to, treated with the same level of punishment as DWI.
I don’t know why we feel the need to spend all our travel time with a piece of metal, plastic, and silicone glued to the side of our heads. Maybe it’s an indication that we’ve become so busy we feel we have to use every spare moment constructively. (It still doesn’t justify why people use their cell phones in the restroom. You’ve got to have peace and quiet sometimes, you know.) Regardless, I’m all for saving lives and making our nation’s roadways a safer place on which to travel. So my question to the political gurus is this: Why limit this type of ban to cell phone usage? There are plenty of other activities I’ve seen people performing while driving their automobiles that I think are just as dangerous to the rest of the driving population. So if one of you legislative types is looking for a way to garner some media attention just prior to the next big election, you might want to consider drafting legislation to make these other “Driving-While" activities illegal.
DWE (DRIVING WHILE EATING). I’ve experienced the dangers of eating and driving first-hand. Several years ago I was stopped by a police officer in one of our bedroom communities and ticketed for speeding. I accepted the ticket grudgingly and went on about my business. On my return trip, I was nearly sideswiped by a vehicle changing lanes erratically. Upon closer inspection, it was the same officer who had issued my speeding ticket earlier. Evidently she had not yet taken the part of her law enforcement driver safety course that taught one how to maintain proper control of her vehicle while holding a fast-food hamburger in one hand and a super-sized fountain drink in the other.
DWR (DRIVING WHILE READING). I’ve seen people checking maps, perusing newspapers, even reading paperbacks propped up on their steering wheels while cruising down the highway at 55 miles per hour. Unless these folks have an extra set of eyes hidden under their hairlines, I think this kind of activity could have serious consequences for the surrounding drivers.
DWAR (DRIVING WHILE ADJUSTING RADIO). When you’re trying to view the numbers on your stereo’s readout, you are not watching the vehicles around you. It’s a fantastic reason for convincing automotive makers to incorporate the stereo controls in the steering wheel. The only drawback would be when the driver confuses them with the cruise control features. You’d turn on the radio and select your station, only to find out that you’ve actually set your car to go 104.7 mph in a 30-mph zone.
DWS (DRIVING WHILE SHAVING). I’ve seen electric razors, with and without power cords. I’ve seen disposable razors, with and without shaving cream. What I haven’t seen is a good old-fashioned straight razor. When that day comes, I’m pulling out my video camera and waiting for the driver to hit a speed bump. Ditto for the first time I spy some guy shaving his head and not his face.
DWAC (DRIVING WHILE APPLYING COSMETICS). There’s nothing funnier than watching a woman driving with her face shoved into the rear-view mirror, mouth gaping wide as she attempts to apply her eyeliner. Unless of course, it results in her rear-ending your car because she got L’oreal in her eye instead of on her eyelash and didn’t see that you’d stopped.
DWOPED (DRIVING WHILE OPERATING PORTABLE ELECTRONIC DEVICES). We’re talking laptops in the passenger seat, PDAs in the hand, MP3 players on the dashboard, GPS devices clipped to the visor of the vehicle, and so on. Messing with those high-tech toys may keep you wired, but be careful or you’ll find yourself wired to some monitoring device in a hospital bed. (So much for me videotaping that guy shaving his head…)
DWTTP/DWTTS (DRIVING WHILE TALKING TO PASSENGER/DRIVING WHILE TALKING TO SELF). Conversation involves concentration, which means less of the latter is available to devote to the function of driving the vehicle. It’s worse for those of us who like having a running conversation with ourselves, because it’s necessary to maintain both sides of the discussion. The up side, of course, is that you always win the argument. You always lose, too, but that doesn’t really count. “That depends on how you look at it." “Oh, quit arguing semantics with me!"
DWPUFIFVH (DRIVING WHILE PICKING UP FALLEN ITEMS FROM VEHICLE FLOOR). If your head’s pointed towards the floor of your car, it’s not looking out the windshield. Do the math, people.
DWEPDA (DRIVING WHILE EXHIBITING PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION). Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t believe automotive vehicles were designed for two people to occupy the driver’s seat at the same time while the vehicle is in motion. If these people absolutely have to maintain physical contact in the car, they need to pull over and hop into the back seat, at which point they become subject to a whole new set of laws that may make them wish they’d restrained themselves and waited until they got home.
I’d continue on, but I’m in my car right now writing this article on my iPAQ , the light just turned green, and people behind me are honking their horns in irritation. Anyway, you get my point. Let’s put some laws in place to stop this insane extra-vehicular activity and help us concentrate on driving again, making the world a safer and happier place for…oh, hang on a minute…"HEY BUDDY I’M TRYING TO WORK HERE DO YOU MIND?!" Some people are just so inconsiderate… sheesh !
Additional sources for this article include Wired.com and the Cellular Telecommunications and Internet Association Web site.
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