Blondes Have More Fun with Their Custom Computer Keyboard
Posted: Tuesday, December 09, 2008
by Danny Davids
"Why did the blonde cross the road?" I'll let you add your favorite punch line, but suffice it to say that as a group, our fairer-follically-pigmented females are the butt of more jokes than just about any other. What's a girl to do? Dye her hair? Start wearing glasses? Boycott comics and comedy clubs? Join the Elle Woods Fan Club? Protest in our nation's capitol? How about buy your very own computer keyboard?
European Trends has released the "Keyboard for Blondes", a hot-pink model that embraces the humor. It's a standard USB computer keyboard with a few keys renamed to make things a little easier for those of the blonde persuasion to understand. For example, the CTRL and ALT keys are renamed "Somewhat Useless Key", "Useless Key", "Another Useless Key", and "Totally Useless Key." The space bar is labeled "The Big One: I Need My Space Key." The function keys across the top of the keyboard are not labeled F1 through F12; instead, individual letters on each key spell out the phrase "USELESS KEYS." The CAPS LOCK key now says "WARNING! size XXL letters", and the Enter key proclaims "YES! I want it!"
In addition, owners can type out their very favorite "Secret Code Guide to Blonde Communication" phrases with the touch of a key. Pressing the O key (in combination with another key or two, I'm assuming) types "OMG" on your screen. The S key reveals the phrase "SOS" ("Shoes on Sale"), and the Z key displays "ZZZD" (Boring Date). Some keys actually make sounds; pressing the $ key (that's shift-4) produces the sound of a cash register ringing.
In addition, owners can type out their very favorite "Secret Code Guide to Blonde Communication" phrases with the touch of a key. Pressing the O key (in combination with another key or two, I'm assuming) types "OMG" on your screen. The S key reveals the phrase "SOS" ("Shoes on Sale"), and the Z key displays "ZZZD" (Boring Date). Some keys actually make sounds; pressing the $ key (that's shift-4) produces the sound of a cash register ringing.
European Trends states the keyboard has already been released in the U.K. and been received with a modicum of success; however, at $49.95 probably only a true blonde would purchase this novelty item (or perhaps a friend who wants to make a point). Still, the company gives its Top Ten (give or take a few) reasons why you should buy this computer, and that's enough to make a trip to view the keyboard online worthwhile. But I must confess I don't understand why the manufacturer would replace the numbers on the number pad with dots like on dominoes. Wouldn't that be more confusing, making the user have to count the dots every time she wanted to enter a digit...?
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Hi Danny.That keyboard is fiendishly clever, but is it politically correct? :) Forgive me, I just finished Jeff Brown's article.Thanks for a look at how the other half lives. That would be in contrast to the brunette and slightly nerdish half, which is where I place myself. I do, however, have a couple of keys on my keyboard that I have no idea about. One of them has the Microsoft Windows logo on it. The other has what looks like a page with typing on it and an arrow. I've never pressed either for fear of what might happen. Any good advice for a timid nerd?Diannehey. dunno about the blank page button with the arrow. but the windows icon button does the same effect as cliking the start button on your desktop. (lower left corner of screen)Dianne, the "page with typing on it and an arrow" brings up a menu for whatever your active window happens to be. And Anonymous is right, the Windows logo button brings up the Start menu. Have fun playing!!Hi.Thanks to both of you for the info. Actually, those are two handy buttons!Dianne
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